How comfortable are you with conflict at work?
Is it possible that disagreements could be a good thing, or are you always looking for ways to avoid them?
A new leader had just joined my company.
A few days into her new job, she asked me for advice on handling a particular issue:
“I shared my vision for the future with the team, and they all agreed. No questions were asked. There was no challenge at all! I am not sure what that means. Is that common?”
I had worked with that team for some time, so she hoped I could shed some light on how they operated. There was a sense of unease in her mind because of the agreement or rather the lack of disagreement. Coming from a work culture that encouraged healthy debate and challenge, she didn’t know how to interpret blanket consent. Could it be a good or bad sign?
You may not find her leadership style conventional or typical. Many managers and leaders seem content with the lack of disagreement as they perceive it as negative or unpleasant.
But not all disagreements are the same.
In the right circumstances, disagreements can be a good thing, a positive force that drives the organisation forward. Meanwhile, a lack of disagreement can mask serious issues such as groupthink, burnout, disengagement, or a toxic culture.
Most of us fear conflict – and for a good reason. There is a degree of risk and vulnerability involved. We’re taught to avoid upsetting others. We don’t want to disrupt the status quo, so we simply minimise the importance of our thoughts and ideas. We avoid conflict and disagreement to protect ourselves.
Does any of this sound familiar?
My 25 years of corporate experience have taught me that too much agreement in a team often signals a lack of engagement. And where there’s a lack of engagement, there’s a lack of commitment and accountability.
Yet, disagreement and conflict are work’s most potent and productive forces. It’s like strong winds turning into a storm. There are two types of storms: ones that tear things apart and those that can be channelled into producing sustainable energy. Harnessing these forces is a skill you and your team can learn.
Embracing conflict and disagreement might be an uncomfortable process. Doing so, however, will yield positive results. For example, the ability to disagree at work can lead to future innovations, higher productivity, greater collaboration, and increased inclusion.
Here are three essential steps you can do as a leader to promote productive challenge and disagreement in the workplace.
1. Model How to Handle Disagreements at Work
“Now Challenge Me” – Inviting Disagreement
An executive board member I once worked with would present his thoughts and approach to a situation, only to conclude by saying, “Now challenge me, Olga. What am I missing?”
This was a masterclass on how to handle disagreements in a team.
I was skeptical when he first asked. Was that a test? Not at all. This was his style, as it soon became evident. He genuinely wanted to hear other perspectives. It was important to him that I validated his thinking to ensure it was sound. By doing so, he was able to prevent and address potential problems. Furthermore, it allowed me to exercise honest feedback and autonomy. As a result, this practice nurtured leadership and critical thinking skills.
Listening to and Accepting Feedback with Humility
There is a tendency for people to retreat when they receive negative feedback. It may bruise your ego a bit. But it’s no good encouraging people to challenge you if you’re going to react negatively.
Rather than paying attention to who delivers feedback or your ego, think about its purpose – what tasks, behaviours, or messages does it address? In this case, being right should be the last thing on your mind.
Instead, dare to be wrong and get honest feedback.
Use every opportunity to invite ideas, questions, and counterpoints. Then, listen, acknowledge, and thank individuals, irrespective of whether you implement their feedback.
2. Build A Work Culture that Values Disagreement
There’s a place for disagreement and healthy conflict. But most people either don’t know this, or they don’t practice it. Often it’s because they haven’t worked in an environment where disagreement is acceptable, or they don’t have good conflict resolution skills.
The best way to educate people about conflict is to explicitly demonstrate its value and benefits.
Bring the point home by citing examples of healthy conflict in the workplace. For example, highlight how disagreements led to the creation of your latest exciting product.
Another way to do it is to incorporate healthy disagreement into a performance objective. Introducing it as a required behaviour would encourage your team to adopt and practice it, but ensure you set clear parameters for what “healthy” is.
3. Nurture Psychological Safety
No tip or technique on handling disagreements in a team will work if there’s no psychological safety.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs regards safety as a basic human need. This means that it drives our behaviours and our actions. Each and every one of us will prioritise it at almost any given time, whether we realise it or not. If someone consciously or unconsciously believes it’s unsafe to disagree, they won’t do so – no matter how often you invite them.
Thus, it’s vital to determine if you’re offering the right conditions for psychological safety, where people can ask questions and challenge without fear of reprisal.
How can you determine this?
Embrace The Undeniable Power of Observation
You can gauge the level of security within the team by observing and becoming attuned to their behaviours.
· How freely do they express their views?
· Do they seem reserved?
· Does the behaviour and response remain the same in all settings, whether in 121 or team meetings?
· Is it easier for them to disagree with peers instead of management?
· How do they express a disagreement – are they assertive or defensive, perhaps even apologetic?
Start The Conversation
In a way, this idea seems counterintuitive.
People will not tell you that they don’t feel safe. They will instead tell you what you want to hear, and nothing will change.
It is possible, however, to initiate a dialogue by asking the right questions. For example, I like this psychological safety at work tool created by organisational psychologist and Harvard Professor Amy Edmondson. The team’s psychological safety is assessed by asking them to rate a series of statements that look into a person’s comfort level with bringing up issues or taking risks or how much the workplace values their unique skills and talents.
Having a clear understanding of the level of psychological safety in your workplace will make it easier for you to build a culture where disagreements are encouraged.
Final Thoughts
There is a need for a paradigm shift in how we approach disagreement at work.
Building this mindset begins with teaching the benefits of healthy conflict, inviting constructive debate, and modeling the right behaviours.
Our mission at Change Aligned is to support leaders and teams in creating the conditions for their future success. Discover how we can help.
About the author
Olga Valadon is the Founder and Director of Change Aligned. She is a strategist, leadership mentor and corporate empathy expert with three decades of experience in global corporates. Her company specialises in culture design and leadership development. Olga is on the board of the University of Cambridge Primary school, advisor to Equal Employer®, and associate management lecturer at BPP University.
