Thinking about a career in management, or just getting started? Are you looking for ways to build or enhance your leadership skills?
Do you know what it takes to succeed as a manager and leader?
If so, I challenge you to take a moment to consider the possibility that you may not. The truth is – management is not an easy ride and you will often find yourself humbled.
Almost four years after I entered the corporate world, I took on my first supervisory role. I was so excited to reach such a milestone. But I was also naive. I had a shiny Master’s degree in Management and I thought I knew everything I needed to know about leading others.
It didn’t take long for me to realise that this assumption was incorrect.
As you progress in your leadership journey, some of your own preconceived and untested assumptions may also prove incorrect.
Of course, you can’t know what you don’t know and no list of tips or lessons is going to change that.
The key, however, to avoiding some of the pitfalls that arise from naivety and inexperience is to question what you don’t know.
There are so many things to learn and unlearn, which can feel quite daunting. I remember that feeling well! But no matter how uncomfortable this feeling may be, it is an essential part of the growth process.
This is what I wish I’d known as I started my leadership journey –
1. The Value Of Self-Reflection
Someone misinterprets your email.…
Your team misses a deadline….
You fail to inspire others during a team meeting…
You may feel disappointed in such situations and beat yourself up, but that won’t change what has already happened. The good news is that you can avoid similar outcomes in the future by learning from these experiences.
The key to this process is self-reflection. This is an incredibly powerful learning tool that you cannot afford to ignore.
Schedule a time in your diary for self- reflection, whether daily or weekly, and stick to it. The fact that it is a meeting with yourself shouldn’t make it any less important. Treat it the same as all other meetings.
Keep things in perspective, and focus less on what you could have done differently in the past and more on “what you might do differently next time”. When the next time finally comes, recognise yourself for the progress you have made.
2. Bad Calls Are Inevitable
Let me paint you a picture.
You are walking a tightrope suspended between two skyscrapers. You are trying to figure out how to get to the other side while holding all of your team members, multiple projects, stakeholder expectations and a tight budget, in your hands. If you fall, what happens to the things you are holding?
As a leader, you will have to take several decisions. Some decisions will be easier than others, and some will be very uncomfortable. In some cases, decisions must be made very quickly without all the information available. There are almost certainly going to be some bad calls. There is no escaping it, so accept it and learn to live with it.
As a former boss of mine once told me, “Stuff happens. It’s how you handle them that matters most”.
Own your bad decisions, learn from them, and move on.
3. Let Go Of The Superhero Complex
“Having all the answers” isn’t part of your job description and no one is expecting that of you so don’t try to be a superhero. Even if you manage to put out some fires, you won’t be able to keep up with it. Whether you are on holidays, training, or sick leave, there will be times when you are not around.
Remember that you are supported by a team! They are there to help you. And like you, they also wish to learn and grow.
As Sheryl Sandberg, ex-COO of Facebook said, “Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence, and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.”
4. Perfectionism Will Get In Your Way. Don’t Let It.
Just as “having all the answers” isn’t part of the job description, being perfect isn’t either. Naturally, you will be eager to demonstrate to your superiors your leadership skills and how well-oiled your team is.
And to help ensure this, you will be tempted to do unnecessary things like triple-checking your team’s work. However, this isn’t a good use of your time and it is highly unlikely to build trust with your team. (Read my story about doing this very thing when I started).
Instead of spending all your energy trying to prevent mistakes, support your team members to do what they do well. Make mistakes together – as a team – and learn from them together.
5. Embrace Your Team’s Feedback
You may be the leader, but your team are the experts in what they do, so actively listen to their feedback. As Steve Jobs said “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do. We hire smart people so that they tell us what to do”.
Clearly, a healthy communication channel must include both positive and negative feedback. Negative feedback is never easy to receive, there is no doubt about that. We instinctively go into defense mode.
Negative feedback, however, is part and parcel of leadership. Your decisions will not always please everyone, whether it is your boss, your team, or your stakeholders. It is therefore important to learn to handle negative feedback and not take things personally.
Is there anything you can learn from this feedback? Do you need to change any behaviours? Change, advancement, and growth are all possible when it’s reframed positively.
6. Build A Network Of Support Around You
Find A Mentor
When it comes to developing leadership skills, a mentor can make all the difference.
Whether you are a new team leader, manager, or even a CEO, you need the support of a good mentor. You need someone you can trust to guide you through the challenges of leadership effectively and honestly, someone who can serve as a role model for you. Choose your mentor wisely.
Leverage A Community Of Peers
It is often said that leadership is a lonely job. You cannot share many of your responsibilities or pressures with your team.
But you might be able to share some of your challenges with someone who is in a similar position. A solid peer network can act as a support system, a sounding board, a cheerleading squad and a valuable source of information and advice.
Identify the community within your organisation or across your industry that can serve this purpose. If you can’t find one, why not create one yourself? If you need a community, chances are others do too.
Don’t Wait To Hire A Coach
Having a coach adds another layer of support, providing a safe environment in which to explore your values, set goals, test ideas, and develop your brand.
Through your leadership journey, you will find your coach to be an indispensable partner, helping you see your blind spots while pushing you out of your comfort zone. In the process, you will gain self-awareness and confidence that will help you throughout your career and make you a more effective leader. Once again, choose your coach wisely.
7. Lead By Example, Not By Title
People will not follow you simply because you have a title. In fact, it isn’t necessary to have a title to be a leader. In the same way that your team is trying to prove themselves to you, you must also prove yourself to be worthy of their trust and investment.
Yet again, self-reflection can be extremely valuable here. Ask yourself questions like:
“Why should anyone follow me?”
“Which leadership qualities would I follow?”
“How do I become that leader?”
“How do I know I am heading in the right direction? How will I measure success?”
There may be some answers that you don’t like and some that may push you into uncomfortable territory. Regardless of how you decide to develop your leadership skills, you need to be honest with yourself.
Final Thoughts
Leadership is fundamentally a learning journey, full of both opportunities and challenges and this list is by no means comprehensive. But it does speak to the foundational advice, skills, and qualities I wish someone had told me when I was starting out.
What point resonates most with you, and what else would you add on the list?
Change Aligned, strategy consultants in London, coaches and inspires emerging and senior leaders who want to develop leadership qualities that matter. We leverage years of executive management and coaching to help you clarify your unique vision and style, energise your team, and activate a winning strategy.
About the author
Olga Valadon is the Founder and Director of Change Aligned. She is a strategist, leadership mentor and corporate empathy expert with three decades of experience in global corporates. Her company specialises in culture design and leadership development. Olga is on the board of the University of Cambridge Primary school, advisor to Equal Employer®, and associate management lecturer at BPP University.
